the whole thing loads and right away hatsune miku is there with this vegetable that's got tentacles. not like a normal vegetable. it's like a carrot got crossed with an octopus and nobody asked if that was a good idea. the animation is rough, like someone made it in a weekend and said fuck it, ship it. her eyes look kind of dead but maybe that's the point? she's taking this thing in both holes at once and the sound effects are just... wet slaps. no music, which is weird for a vocaloid parody. you'd think there'd be a beat or something.

i spent way too long trying to figure out if the vegetable was supposed to be sentient. it just kind of moves on its own and the tentacles curl around her thighs. there's this one moment where it pulses and she makes a noise that's supposed to be moaning but it loops every three seconds so it becomes this hypnotic thing. like a broken record of porn sounds. the cumshot is this big splash of white that looks more like milk than anything else and it just keeps going. way more liquid than any vegetable should produce. i guess that's the hentai logic.

the double penetration part is the main event obviously. they don't ease into it. one second she's holding the thing and the next it's just in there, both holes filled, and the camera zooms in way too close. you can see the pixels on her skin. the creampie ending is messy in a way that feels intentional but also lazy, like they knew the physics were off and just leaned into it. hatsune miku's porn career starts here i guess, with a vegetable that defies biology. not what i expected from a popstar but here we are. the whole thing is maybe five minutes long and i've already forgotten half of it.