Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.

Eleanor's got this spreadsheet thing going on in my head now. Not the game, the game is just clicking choices and watching scenes play out, but I'm tracking her reactions like data points. Route A, compliment her dress, she does this little smile that's different from Route B where you go straight for the dirty talk. The branching isn't deep, maybe 4 or 5 real endings, but the way her masturbation scene changes depending on what you picked earlier? That's the kind of variable I live for. One path she uses the toy slow, almost teasing herself, another she's frantic. Same animation rig, different energy. Lesson of Passion coded this one tight, not their usual sprawling mess.

The interracial tag is there because the player character is, well, not her shade. It's not a huge plot point, more like a visual given. Eleanor herself is all curves and that "miss" title which makes the whole thing feel like you're corrupting a teacher or a librarian. She reads erotic stuff to you if you pick that option, her voice acting is actually decent, not the usual dead-eyed moaning. Wait, did I mention there's voice? There's voice. Forgot that completely. The sound mixing is a bit off though, her moans spike weirdly loud sometimes, had me scrambling for the volume slider on my phone. Using Chrome on a Pixel, ran fine, no crashes.

Wish there was a gallery unlock tied to specific choices instead of just finishing a route. Missed one ending where she apparently uses a different toy and I had to replay the whole thing three times because the choice that branches it is super early and not obvious. The adventure tag is generous, it's a visual novel with horny decision trees. But Eleanor's character design, that messy bun and the glasses she adjusts, that's the real unlockable.

Link has had a lot of fan porn over the years, but this one is very specifically about that weird, horny question most Twilight Princess players had and never said out loud: what if Midna stopped being a snarky little gremlin and just became a total cock-obsessed slut for him. The game leans into that fantasy without shame. There’s no dungeon puzzle, no wolf stealth, no nothing. It throws you straight into a scene where Midna is basically presenting herself like “ok hero, I’m your quest reward now, use me however you want.” She still has that smug vibe, just twisted into something sexual. The way she looks at Link’s dick feels like she’s judging and worshipping it at same time, like “this is pathetic” and then she chokes on it until her mascara would run, if she had any. It fits her character in this strange way: she always played with him, now she plays with his cock.

The actual interaction is simple but kind of honest about what people really come here for. You bounce between her jerking him off with those small tits barely doing anything except jiggling cutely, her swallowing him down her throat like she’s trying to prove a point, and then the real meat of it: pussy and anal. There’s this nice little rhythm where you switch from her grinding on him, wet and needy, to her getting it in the ass and suddenly the smug queen of shadows is clenching and gasping like she’s not actually in control at all. When you push for deepthroat, her whole body angle shifts like she’s trying to get every last centimeter in and there’s this specific moment where she pauses, eyes a bit crossed, and then takes that final push. It’s goofy and hot at same time. The climax stuff has that classic old-school flash-game cruelty: “where do you want to ruin her, hero?” You can paint her face, fill her pussy, fill her ass, cover her body, basically treat her like a living cum target. The creampie shots hit that fanfiction fantasy of Link finally not being the clueless virgin, just blasting loads into a princess who is begging for more like she doesn’t care about Hyrule at all. It’s trashy, it’s blunt, it doesn’t pretend to be romantic. Honestly I wish there was at least one tiny nod to an actual story choice or some weird Midna magic twist, but in the same time, that dumb directness is part of the charm. You open it, you make Midna choke, you fuck her holes, you cover her in sperm, you close the tab, you wonder briefly what the original devs at Nintendo would think, then you go back to your life like nothing happened. Classic browser porn ritual.

Right, so this one is called Room Maid something. I forget the full name already. It's one of those browser things, you know the type. Loads up, there's a brunette in a maid uniform just standing there in this weirdly clean room. The whole point is to get her naked, which, okay, that's the whole point of most of these. The art is that sort of cheap anime style, like someone learned to draw from a very specific corner of the internet. Her eyes are too big and the skirt is impossibly short. It's not polished, not even a little bit. The animation for pulling down her panties is like three frames, a jerky little stutter that's almost funny.

You get these tools. A feather, some lube, a razor. I spent a weird amount of time just clicking the razor on her, which is a sentence I never thought I'd type. The game calls it shaving her pussy, and it's as crude as it sounds. A little pixelated patch disappears and then it's just smooth. No real reaction from her, just the same looping idle animation. The whole thing feels like a flash game from 2006 that got lost and found again. The sound is just one wet squelch noise on repeat if you use the lube, it gets annoying fast.

The cumshot is the end goal, I guess. You unlock all the tools by just clicking around enough and then you can, well, finish on her face. The facial is static, just a new texture slapped on her unmoving expression. It's so abrupt. One second you're poking her with a digital feather, the next it's over. There's no build up, no real game. Just clicking. My cat jumped on my keyboard during it and I think I unlocked something by accident, or maybe I just broke the sequence. The whole thing is a mess, but I kept clicking. Not because it was good, but because it was just... there. Like picking at a scab. The maid's dead eyes will probably haunt my dreams, but not in a sexy way.

The pixel art is, how you say, not good. It looks like someone drew it on a bus. A bumpy bus. But the ninja girl, she has this one attack where she spins and her tunic flies up and you see everything. I spent maybe ten minutes just tapping Z to watch it. The monsters are these blob things with too many tentacles, and a big guy who looks like a melted candle. When they grab you, the screen gets all pink and blurry, like you're looking through a steamed-up shower door.

The fighting is... what is the word. Mushy. You press Z and sometimes she swings her sword, sometimes she just stands there. I think the game wants you to lose, honestly. The hitbox for the monster's grab is insane. I was a full character length away and suddenly I'm in a looped animation with a tentacle monster doing things that would get you arrested in most countries. There's a masturbation button. X. Just press X. She drops her sword and, well, you can figure it out. It doesn't help you win. It actually makes the monsters more aggressive? Or maybe that was a coincidence. I don't know. The explosion move with C is useless, it never hits anything and the cooldown is forever.

I wish there was a gallery mode. You have to get caught on purpose to see the scenes, and then you die and restart the whole level. It's frustrating. The scroll item you pick up does nothing as far as I can tell. Maybe it's a score thing. Who cares about score in a game like this. The oral scenes with the candle guy are surprisingly detailed for something that looks like it was made in MS Paint. The sound is just... wet noises. No music. Just slapping and squishing. It's uncomfortable after a while. I turned it off and put on a podcast. The game crashed when I beat the second boss, so I never saw the ending. Maybe there isn't one. Maybe the real ending was the monsters we got fucked by along the way. That's stupid. Forget I said that.

Lunamaria Hawke's tits are bigger than I remember from the anime, but whatever, that's the point of these f-series games from Flying Tree Frog. You get her in the school uniform first, then the pilot suit, then a bikini that barely covers her nipples. The undressing is slow, like you're peeling layers off a ZAFT pilot who forgot she's supposed to be in a mobile suit cockpit. I spent way too long just rotating her around, watching the breast expansion toggle do its thing. Her tits swell up like balloons when you click the right spot, and honestly I wish the game let you keep them that size permanently instead of resetting after each scene.

The masturbation scene with the anal dildo caught me off guard. Not because it's explicit, but because the game suddenly forgets it's about Gundam and just becomes this loop of Lunamaria grinding on a toy while her uniform slides off one shoulder. You can switch outfits mid-scene, which is nice, but the bikini top clips through her arms sometimes. Small thing, but it bugs me. The cum meter fills up fast if you spam the clit rub, and then she just... shakes. No real payoff animation, just a static frame with some sound. I kept clicking anyway.

There's a weird moment where she's in the school outfit but still has her pilot helmet on, like the game couldn't decide which fantasy to commit to. I don't know why that stuck with me. Maybe because the whole thing feels like a mod someone made in a weekend, but a mod I'd actually keep installed. The dildo scene is the best one, especially with the breast expansion maxed out. Her moans loop every few seconds, which gets annoying, but I turned my volume down and just watched her hips move. For a browser game, it's got more going on than most of the Gundam SEED Destiny hentai doujins I've found. Not that I've looked. Much.

I don't know why I keep coming back to these body swap things. There's something deeply wrong with me, probably. The whole setup is a succubus and some guy, and she does that thing where she transforms into a magazine cover model, right? But then she flips it and turns him into that same model while she takes his body. So now he's stuck in this fashion magazine body with all the... implications. And the game just kind of sits with that moment, that confusion.

The art is deliberately rough, like someone was learning Blender and just said fuck it, good enough. The models have that plastic sheen, the animation is stiff in ways that somehow make it more uncomfortable. Not in a horror way, more like watching a mannequin try to be sexy. I spent way too long staring at the hair physics, or lack thereof. It just sits there. Like a helmet. A sexy helmet.

It's a kinetic novel so you're just clicking through, no choices, no branches. The violation tag is there for a reason and it's not subtle about it. The succubus girl has this energy like she's done this a thousand times and is bored with it, which honestly makes it weirder. I kept thinking about that one scene in... what was it... that anime where the demon just casually ruins someone's life between sips of tea. This has that same vibe. The masturbation scenes are what you'd expect, awkward and mechanical, but the body exchange is where it actually gets interesting. The way the character just has to deal with suddenly having different everything. I wish it explored that more instead of rushing to the obvious bits. But then again, maybe that's the point. Maybe I'm overthinking a game where a succubus turns a dude into a fashion model and then things happen. My phone buzzed three times while writing this and I ignored all of them. That's probably a sign of something.

Oh honey, this is the kind of game that makes you realize we've been overcomplicating things. Just a blonde, a dildo, and your mouse hand doing the lord's work. The whole thing is deliberately rough around the edges, like someone filmed this on a phone from 2015 and said "yeah, that'll do" before uploading it to some forgotten corner of the internet. And honestly? Werk.

The real model just stays there on all fours, looking back at you while you control the rhythm. Move the mouse and she pushes that toy in, pull back and it slides out. Simple as fuck. No stamina bars, no dialogue trees, no crafting system for better dildos or whatever nonsense other games try to cram in. Just pure, unpolished manual action. The video loops are a bit janky, sometimes the motion doesn't quite match your mouse speed, and there's this one frame where her expression looks more confused than aroused. But that's the charm, right? It's giving "we made this in an afternoon and we're not sorry."

Speaking of not sorry, the doggy style angle is doing exactly what it needs to do. You get the full view of her working that toy in and out, and the whole setup feels less like a game and more like one of those interactive videos that used to circulate on sites that definitely gave your computer viruses. Remember those? Before everything got so polished and algorithmic? This has that same energy. The mouse control is responsive enough, though I wish there was a way to adjust sensitivity because sometimes you want to tease and sometimes you want to go full jackhammer and the game doesn't always cooperate with either. But whatever, we're not here for precision engineering.

The anal dildo tag is doing exactly what it says on the tin, no surprises there. She's got one toy for the front and one for the back and you're the conductor of this particular orchestra. Could there be more variety? Sure. Will there be? Probably not, and that's fine. Sometimes you just need a straightforward wank without seventeen upgrade paths and a battle pass. The whole thing feels like it's winking at you, knowing exactly what it is and refusing to apologize.

Haruhi Suzumiya, a busty brunette with big watermelons and pink puffies, wants to relax a little and attain vaginal orgasm. Your job is to help Haruhi Suzumiya do this. First, look at the game screen. On the left and right, you notice interactive spots. Click on the spots to make Haruhi Suzumiya change her pose. Consider the beauty from all sides and touch her round backside. Then click on the triangle and after that Haruhi Suzumiya will undress. When Haruhi Suzumiya is completely naked, use a big electro-hitachi to fuck the girl in her pink and humid vagina. Haruhi Suzumiya will attain vaginal orgasm in a few minutes. So let's not waste time, but begin the fun instantaneously.