the first time i clicked on the zombie queen i thought my phone was broken. the whole thing looks like a flash game from 2005 that someone dug out of a dumpster. pixelated tits everywhere and this weird dungeon with cages. you just poke at the screen and stuff happens. i was on the bus and had exactly four minutes before my stop and honestly that was enough.

theres this scene where the zombie queen gets strapped into some bdsm contraption and her rotting flesh is barely hanging on but the way she moans. fuck. its like someone recorded audio in their bathroom but theres something about it. the pleasure bar fills up and you just keep clicking tools and her body reacts in ways that dont make anatomical sense. at one point i dropped my phone because the bus hit a pothole and when i picked it up she was in a completely different position. no idea what i clicked. the game doesnt explain shit.

christies room is somehow connected to all this. you pick up tools and follow instructions that flash on screen for half a second. the mystical tag makes zero sense unless they mean mystically bad graphics. i wish the cages did more. theyre just there. sometimes you click them and nothing happens. the whole thing feels like someone made it in a weekend while drunk and honestly? for five minutes of weird horny confusion its better than scrolling through twitter. just dont expect it to make sense. the zombie queen moans again and you forget what you were complaining about.