The whole thing opens with a loading screen that looks like a bootleg DVD menu from 2005. Not even joking. And then you're just... there. Two girls, Sara and Bianca, standing outside some vampire's house. Mr. Bulgur. What a name. Sounds like a grain you'd find in a health food store, not a creature of the night. But that's the vibe, right? It's deliberately stupid. The game knows it's stupid. That's the whole point.

So they go inside and immediately things get weird. There's this forced sex scene that just happens. No buildup, no real reason. The vampire guy just kind of... takes what he wants. The animations are janky as hell, bodies clipping through each other, mouths not quite lining up during the blowjob parts. But somehow that makes it funnier? Or maybe I've just played too many of these and my brain is broken. The 3d models look like they were made in some app I can't remember the name of, something from like 2012 that people used to make those weird music videos. Poser? Daz? Whatever. The skin textures are too shiny. Everyone looks slightly damp.

Then out of nowhere the girls start getting into each other. Lesbian stuff just erupts in the middle of what was supposed to be a vampire encounter. There's a threesome that doesn't make any spatial sense. Bodies arranged in ways that defy basic anatomy. At one point I think Bianca's arm was going through Sara's torso but the game just kept going. Achievement unlocked I guess. The forced sex tag is there for a reason, it's not gentle or romantic, it's just... happening. Blood gets involved because vampires, obviously. The whole thing feels like someone's fever dream after watching Twilight while drunk and angry. I wish there was more actual vampire lore but there won't be. Mr. Bulgur just exists to be a creepy plot device with fangs. The dialogue is so bad it circles back around to being art. "We will have bloody fun" is an actual line someone wrote and I think about it more than I should. The game crashed once when I tried to skip a scene too fast. Reloaded and it worked fine. No idea why. The sound design is mostly just wet noises and occasional moans that cut off abruptly like someone hit stop on a tape recorder.