April O'Neil, red hair a mess, pupils blown wide from whatever she snorted off that grimy table. Porn Bastards really said "let's take the wholesome reporter and absolutely wreck her" and honestly? They committed. The customization is where it gets weirdly good, you can tweak her tits to ridiculous proportions, like, physics defying beach balls that would make even the horniest Shredder blush. I spent way too long just... adjusting sliders. It's a sickness.

The undress mechanic is straightforward, click, peel, reveal. But the animation when she's drugged out of her mind, that vacant stare while getting railed, it's got this grimy charm. Like finding a crusty sock under a teenager's bed. You know it's wrong but you can't look away. The parody aspect is thin, barely there, just enough to avoid lawsuits probably. Cowabunga, I guess? The sound design is... wait, is there sound? I think I heard a moan once between my own heavy breathing. Forget what I was saying.

There's this one scene where she's barely conscious, mumbling about the turtles, and it's so absurdly dark it circles back to hilarious. The whole thing feels like a fever dream animated by someone who really, really hates the fourth wall. And April's character model. The big tits tag isn't lying, they're front and center, the main event, the reason you're here. Don't pretend otherwise. The lack of any real gameplay beyond poking and prodding a drugged up redhead gets old fast though. Where's the pizza power up? Missed opportunity.