Five cards in hand and I'm already sweating, not from the poker. The black gun is mine, red one's hers. Shoot a card you don't like, pop it right off the table. Shoot her good cards too if you're fast enough. My first round I blasted a two of clubs and accidentally clicked standby before I even had a pair. Lost immediately. The brunette on screen just smirked while the blonde shook her head, both still fully dressed unfortunately.

This thing is a weird mashup that shouldn't work but somehow does. Poker meets target practice meets a strip show that's actually worth the grind. Real models, not drawings. The lesbian tension between the two hosts is thick enough to cut with a knife, and they're not shy about it. When you win a level, they get closer, touch more, lose a piece of clothing. When you lose, you drop down a level and they put something back on which is cruel and unusual punishment honestly. Made it to level six once before my aim went to shit and the red gun took out my only face card. I actually yelled at my screen.

The standby button is the real mindfuck. You think you've got a winning hand, you slam that button, new cards replace old ones, then both combinations get compared. Higher poker hand wins. Simple. Except the shooting mechanic means you're constantly second-guessing whether to destroy your own cards or hers. Sometimes I shoot her ace only to realize I just helped her draw something better from the deck. The card animations are janky as hell, like someone coded this in a weekend, but honestly that adds to the charm. Or maybe I'm just saying that because the level ten reward is apparently legendary and I still haven't seen it. The guns reload slow enough that you can't just spam shots, gotta be strategic. Wish there was a practice mode without the stakes but there isn't and there won't be.

Got distracted thinking about whether a flush beats a straight and forgot to shoot her queen. She won. Again. The models laughed at me, I swear they did.