So the bus is late again and I got five minutes, whatever. This thing, Pocket Fuck Quest or something, it's a browser game. Runs like ass on my phone but that's fine, I'm not here for frame rate. You get reincarnated into the pokemon world but not the one from your childhood. This one has Mewscarada with tits bigger than her head and a Gardevoir that will actually let you do the thing.

The first scene, you just walk into a forest and there's a Lopunny. Not even a fight, she just bends over. The animation is janky, like someone learned Blender last Tuesday. But the sound, oh god the wet noises. They loop. Badly. You hear the same squish five times in a row and it's almost hypnotic. I came for the monster girls, stayed because the train was delayed forty minutes. There's a titfuck scene with Jessie from Team Rocket that made me laugh, her face is stuck in a permanent:O expression. The cum physics are wrong, it just sort of floats. Like jizz in zero gravity.

I wish there was a skip button for the dialogue. The main character talks like a horny robot. "I must breed all pocket monsters for the prophecy." Yeah sure buddy. But then Nemona shows up and she has this voyeurism side quest where you watch her masturbate from a bush. The bush is two green circles. I stared at it for way too long. The game doesn't care about logic. Sonia is there too, she's a milf now, whatever that means in this universe. Her handjob scene is actually kind of tender? Then the audio glitches and it sounds like a fax machine.

No install, just a browser tab. I closed it when the bus came. Forgot to save. Don't care. The big ass tag is accurate, maybe too accurate. One ass filled my entire screen. I had to tilt my phone. Would play again on the toilet.