The blonde in the waitress outfit, the one with the skirt that’s basically a belt, she has this look. Not a come hither look. More like she’s already bored of you before you’ve clicked anything. That’s the first thing. You’re in a bedroom that looks like a stock photo of a bedroom, and she’s just standing there, a 3D model with a flat anime face mapped on, waiting. The pleasure bar is empty. It’s a pink little tube, like a thermometer for a very specific kind of fever.

Finding the first hotspot is a pain. You’re just dragging your cursor over her collarbone, her hip, the air next to her ear, and nothing. Then you brush the knot of her apron and a little gear icon appears. Click. The apron vanishes. The bar jumps maybe two pixels. This is the whole game. It’s a process of elimination, like you’re a bomb disposal guy but the bomb is a woman’s clothing and the explosion is just her getting slightly more naked. The office scene is worse, the lighting is this aggressive fluorescent white that makes her skin look like a plastic doll left in the sun. You click a pen on the desk, thinking it’s a hotspot, and it just zooms in on the pen for a second. A weirdly detailed pen. Why is the pen the most rendered object in the room? I spent a full minute just clicking the pen, watching it zoom in and out, while the pleasure bar sat there, empty and judging.

The gym uniform scene has a similar problem with a water bottle. It’s a metallic blue, hyper realistic, sitting on a bench that’s textured like a blurry photo of wood. You can click it. It does nothing. But you can click it. Meanwhile, the actual progression, the stripping, is tied to finding the right sequence on her. The waitress scene eventually gets to a point where you’re clicking the waistband of her tights and the bar fills in these unsatisfying little chunks. The sound is just a generic squelch. The whole thing feels like a prototype for a game that someone forgot to finish, but then decided to sell anyway. The blonde’s expression never changes, not even when the bar hits max and the animation loops. That same bored look. She knows about the pen.