Fucking hell, the cum physics in this thing. I spent way too long just watching the aftermath, the way it drips off Nami’s chin and pools in that little dip above her collarbone. It’s got this weird, almost too-slow viscosity, like cheap syrup, but somehow that makes it hotter. You can rotate the view while she’s still got her mouth full, and the light catches the mess on her tits differently depending on the angle. A tiny detail nobody asked for, but it’s the only reason I’m even writing this.

The actual blowjob mechanics are the kind of bare-bones you’d expect from a game that probably shares its code with a dozen other flash-era relics. You’ve got your speed slider, your depth toggle, a button for making her look up at you. Nico Robin’s model is the real letdown here. Her hair color is wrong, not that deep violet-black, more of a muddy brown, and her eyes don’t have that sharp, knowing look. She just stares blankly while you poke at the “lick” button like you’re trying to get a stubborn vending machine to work. Nami fares better, her orange hair is actually vibrant and the facial animations, while limited to three expressions, at least sell the idea she’s into it. The “rubbing” style is just a looped animation that clips through her cheek if you’re not at the perfect angle. Classic.

There’s a button to switch girls mid-act, which is the game’s one saving grace. Going from Robin’s lazy, almost clinical sucking to Nami’s more frantic, messy style actually creates a bit of a rhythm. You can almost pretend you’re directing a scene. Almost. The sound is a disaster, just two wet looping tracks that don’t sync with the action at all, so you’ll hear a loud slurp while her mouth is completely still. It’s like a bad kung fu dub for your dick. I wish there was a way to just mute the mouth sounds and keep the little gasps, but the audio options are a single on/off toggle. Of course. Still, I kept going back to that one angle, the one where Nami’s nose is pressed right up against the base, her eyes watering. For a second, the jank fades and it’s just a really good, specific image. Then she blinks and her eyelid clips through her eyebrow and the moment’s gone.