My Sweet Neighbors is what happens when a midlife crisis meets a conveniently placed apartment door. You play some guy pushing forty, fresh into a new building, and immediately the universe throws a blonde teen and her stacked mom into your orbit. The setup is so transparent it's almost charming, like the game knows exactly why you clicked on it and doesn't bother pretending otherwise.

The writing has this weird rhythm where dialogue feels like it was translated through three different languages and then back into English by someone who learned it exclusively from porn captions. The neighbor mom says things no actual human would say, and her daughter oscillates between naive schoolgirl and oddly perceptive wingman depending on which choice you pick. I genuinely laughed at a scene where you're having coffee and the conversation takes a turn so abrupt I had to reread it twice. The CG hentai scenes are what you're here for though, and they deliver in that specific uncanny way where the anatomy is simultaneously impressive and questionable. Big tits is an understatement. These women are carrying around physics defying proportions that would require industrial grade back support.

The choice system is basically "be a creep" or "be slightly less of a creep but still obviously angling for something." There's this one path where helping the daughter with homework leads to her playing matchmaker, and the logic behind it is so convoluted I started taking screenshots to send to a friend who appreciates these trainwrecks. The MILF neighbor has exactly two expressions: concerned and inexplicably aroused. Sometimes both at once. The game forgets about the whole "you're new here" premise after the first few scenes and just becomes a series of increasingly unlikely encounters. I wish the text didn't occasionally overlap with the character sprites during certain scenes, a minor thing that happened maybe three times but drove me up the wall. The whole experience feels like someone's hastily written fantasy committed to code, which honestly might be exactly what the genre deserves.