lol so this is from the guy who made Adventure High right? i played that one like 2 years ago when i was supposed to be doing actual work and it was fine. this new thing is. hmm. it's a side project and you can FEEL that energy. like when you're cleaning your apartment and suddenly decide to reorganize the sock drawer instead of doing the dishes.

the premise is you're a conqueror who got his ass kicked. okay relatable. you team up with some girl starting her career while evil forces steal your knowledge? i don't know what knowledge they're stealing exactly, probably my will to live after the fifth resource management screen. the game throws you into this weird tactics thing where you're building an army and managing resources and also there's hentai. the big tits tag is accurate, they're very present, very enthusiastic. the nude scenes unlock eventually and honestly the art style has that specific crunchy unpolished look that somehow makes it hotter? like finding a dirty magazine in the woods. you know what i mean.

but WHY does the resource management feel like doing taxes for a kingdom i don't care about. i spent fifteen minutes trying to figure out how to recruit more heroes and the tutorial just kinda shrugs at you. the harem building is fun when it works, the sex scenes are explicit and frequent enough to keep you clicking, but then you hit a wall where you need more gold or whatever and the game is like "figure it out loser." the tactics part is actually kinda strategic? you position units and stuff. but the enemy AI does this thing where it just. ignores your frontline sometimes. completely. walks right past my big strong tank guy to slap my healer. disrespectful.

anyway the evil forces are stealing my knowledge and i'm sitting here with no knowledge of how half the systems work so maybe they already got to me. the girl who started her own career seems nice. i think her name was in a dialogue box i accidentally skipped. classic.