Four broken hearts out of ten. That's what this game did to my chest. Not because it's sad exactly but because I kept hoping Luke would grow a spine and he just... doesn't. Ever.
The whole thing starts with this blonde chick Maya literally kicking our boy out because she's pregnant with her boss's kid. And Luke's response to getting cucked isn't rage or revenge, it's buying a delivery van and going on some spiritual journey of self discovery. I spent the first twenty minutes just staring at the screen wondering if this was a joke. The dialogue is pure Lesson of Passion melodrama where everyone talks like they're in a soap opera written by someone who hates men. The quest structure is barebones RPG stuff, drive here, talk to this person, maybe get laid if you pick the right dialogue option. The erotic scenes are... there. Some are hot in that uncanny 3d way where the models look like mannequins that learned to feel. But the writing is so overwrought I kept laughing during sex scenes which I'm pretty sure wasn't the intent.
What bugs me most is the missed potential. There's this whole dating sim layer where you meet new women while delivering packages, and some of them are genuinely interesting for like five seconds before the game remembers it wants to be a tragedy about a doormat. One woman runs a bookstore and has this whole backstory about her ex that the game just drops midway through a conversation. I wanted to know more but nope, back to Luke moping about Maya. The blonde ex shows up in flashbacks and every time I saw her face I wanted to scream at Luke to just block her number. But the game won't let you. You're stuck being pathetic and that's the point I guess. The thing is I love sad endings, I really do. Games where everything goes wrong and nobody learns anything. But this one made me feel gross in a way that wasn't cathartic. Just... empty. Like watching someone you kinda know make the same mistake over and over while you sit there eating chips. The delivery van stuff gets repetitive fast too, same three locations cycling, and the loan mechanic is just a number that ticks up but never really matters. I kept waiting for debt collectors to show up or something dramatic but it's all just background noise for Luke's existential crisis. Which, fine, maybe that's the point too. Life is boring and so is heartbreak. But did the sex scenes have to be so mechanical? Click here, click there, watch the polygons clip through each other. There's this one moment with a redhead at a motel that almost got interesting and then the camera angle changed and I could see the back of her head was just... missing textures. Not even in a creepy way, just a lazy way.
Anyway the soundtrack loops every three minutes and I can still hear it in my skull. If you're into games where the protagonist is a cuckold who delivers packages instead of confronting his feelings, this exists. The dating parts are half baked and the quests are fetch quests without the satisfaction of actually fetching anything meaningful. I finished it because I hate myself apparently. Four broken hearts.