Hotwire a car, they said. It'll be fun, they said. The first "quest" in this mess is literally clicking on a shitty pixel sedan until a bar fills up while some big titted anime girl with a permanent ":3" face tells you you're doing great. The GTA parody is so paper thin it's see-through, like one of those bootleg t-shirts that says "Grand Larceny Auto" and you bought it at a flea market anyway. That's the vibe.

The pickup line mechanic is absolutely unhinged. You get these dialogue options that look like they were run through Google Translate twice, and picking the "right" one somehow convinces a hardened criminal chick to straddle you in a stolen car. The sex scene that follows is just a looping hentai gif with a cum counter overlayed, and the sound design is, I swear, a guy making "gluck gluck" noises into a tin can. It's so jarring it circles back to being hilarious. The blowjob animations have this one frame where the girl's eyes cross in a way that made me spit out my drink. You meet another girl at a shooting range, and her tits have their own gravity physics that don't match the rest of the world. The "arcade level" is a top-down shooter where you rob the bank, and it controls like you're aiming with oven mitts on. I died three times because I was staring at the pixel tits on the getaway driver instead of the cops.

The whole heist plot is just a clothesline to hang smut on. You need building plans, so you fuck a secretary. You need a gun, so you fuck a gun nut. The logic is bulletproof if you're horny enough. The art style shifts between three different resolutions depending on what scene you're in. It's a criminal offense to call this a "game", really, but I finished it. Twice. The final bank job scene is just a static image of money flying everywhere with a moan loop that cuts off abruptly mid-sound. I still haven't found the third girl they promised. Maybe she's a secret unlock? Who cares. This is trash, but it's my kind of trash. The humor is purely accidental and that's the best part.