The wife is blonde, obviously, and the husband has that tired office face you see in every lesson of passion clone. You pick who to chase first, the neighbor, the coworker, the random pickup at a bar. The threesome tag is there but it takes forever to unlock, like the game forgets you clicked that option three scenes ago. I spent most of my time clicking through dialogue about mortgages and missed dinners, which is realistic but also why am I horny for a spreadsheet.

The affair mechanics are simple, almost too simple. You get a choice, you pick the flirty answer, the meter goes up. Sometimes the meter goes down for no reason and I still don't know why. Maybe she didn't like my joke about her husband's lawn. The couple dynamic is weird too, like both of them are cheating but they still have breakfast together and talk about work. It's like watching a soap opera where everyone is too polite to say "I want to fuck the pool boy."

The sex scenes are okay. Not great, not terrible. The blonde wife has this one expression that's supposed to be pleasure but looks like she smelled something bad. I wish the threesome scene wasn't locked behind so many boring choices. You have to be nice to both partners for like an hour of real time before anything happens. And even then it's just a fade to black with some moaning sounds. I wanted to see the logistics, you know? Who goes where? Is there a queue? The game doesn't answer these questions.

Anyway, the pickup scenes are the best part. You can be a total creep and sometimes it works, which is funny. Other times you get slapped and the game resets your progress with that character. I respect that. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?