Forgot my phone was still recording when I opened this one. Now there's a three minute clip of me just staring at the screen with my mouth slightly open saved to my camera roll. Not my proudest moment but honestly what do you expect when Biffy the vampire pops up looking like that. Those tits are absolutely ridiculous. Like someone described boobs to an alien who'd never seen them and the alien just went bigger. better. more. And the cake. Why is there so much emphasis on the cake. I spent a good minute just clicking on her ass before I even noticed there were other options.
The whole thing feels like someone made it during a very specific kind of fever dream. You got your blowjob buttons and your titty fuck buttons and then suddenly there's a sex tape mechanic that I still don't fully understand. Something about recording. Maybe it saves locally. I was too distracted by the way her mouth moves. Which is weirdly hypnotic. Not smooth exactly. More like a flipbook animation made by someone who was really really focused on one thing and forgot to draw the in between frames. The sucking sounds are way too wet. Like someone recorded themselves eating soup and just cranked the gain. I wish the hair physics were better but they're never gonna fix that and I've made my peace with it.
The whole Buffy thing is barely there. She's got fangs I guess. Sometimes she bites. It's more of a vibe than an actual reference. You know those knockoff Halloween costumes where the package says "Vampire Slayer" but the model is clearly just wearing a cheap wig and a push up bra. That's the energy. The jerk off instruction part caught me off guard though. Didn't expect to be told what to do by a pixel vampire with comically large breasts but here we are. My ex used to have a shirt that said "bite me" in glitter letters and this whole experience reminded me of that for reasons I can't articulate. The game crashed once when I clicked too fast. Reloaded immediately. Didn't even think about it. That probably says something about me but I'm not sure what.