I don't know what I expected from a game where Aladdin's just sitting on a park bench beating his meat thinking about Ariel. That's the setup. No palace, no cave of wonders, just some guy in modern clothes on public seating with his dick out. The whole thing has this janky ms paint energy that honestly made me laugh out loud the first time I loaded it up.

The genie appears and suddenly you're getting head from the little mermaid while she's still got that seashell bra on. The animation loops are rough as hell, like someone learned flash in 2004 and never updated their skills. But here's the thing, there's something weirdly compelling about how unapologetic it is. Ariel's eyes go all vacant while she's going down on him and I kept thinking about how the Disney lawyers would have an aneurysm. Then Jasmine shows up because of course she does, redhead and brunette tag team action that feels like someone's fever dream after watching too many bootleg VHS tapes. The cumshot physics are absolutely broken, it just sort of appears on their faces like a glitch.

I wish there was more actual Aladdin lore mixed in. Like where's Abu? Not that I want the monkey involved, god no, but some magic carpet action would've been appreciated. The whole thing lasts maybe five minutes if you're clicking through slowly. The sound design is just... not there. Silent except for some looping midi that cuts out randomly. For a game about a magic lamp granting wishes, they really phoned in the wish fulfillment aspect. But I kept replaying it anyway. Something about the dead eyed expressions and the way the characters clip through each other during the blowjob scenes hit this specific trashy niche I didn't know I needed. Is it good? Absolutely not. Did I enjoy myself? Against all better judgment, yeah.