The loading screen itself is a crime. I sat there staring at this weirdly compressed jpeg of Alexandra, her blonde hair looking like it was rendered on a potato from 2006, and the music. My god. It's this one looping synth track that sounds like a dying smoke detector. I actually checked my other tabs to see if I left some spammy ad open. Nope. That's just the game's vibe. Unpolished doesn't even begin to cover it, it's like the dev sneezed on the keyboard and called it a build.

Anyway, you're this loser, a total wreck, and you stumble into the orbit of Alexandra, a mob princess with massive... tracts of land. The plot is just a flimsy excuse for the group scenes, really. There's this one brunette who shows up, a "friend" of hers, and the dialogue before they get into it is so absurdly stiff I snorted my drink. But then the scene actually starts and you forget the jank for a second. The way the artist draws a specific act, the slow reveal during a POV blowjob, is genuinely hot. They get the anatomy right where it counts, that wet, glossy look that makes you lean in. Then the character blinks and her eyelid clips through her eyebrow and the immersion shatters like glass. It's a fetish whiplash simulator.

The lesbian content is where the game almost, almost becomes good. There's a scene where Alexandra and the brunette are just going at it on a couch that looks suspiciously like a public domain asset, and the sound design suddenly has these wet, squelchy effects that are way higher quality than the rest of the audio. It's like the sound guy only cared about the squish. I respect that. The big tits tag is not a suggestion, it's a threat. They defy physics in a way that's more comical than sexy sometimes, but during the group stuff, when everyone's piled together, it's a buffet of flesh that hits that specific, degenerate part of the brain. Just wish the text box didn't cover half the action during the climax. Who playtests these things?