Mory Schiester. That name alone, honey. It's like someone took a fever dream about a sleazy talent agent and just ran with it. This whole thing is a glorious trainwreck of a Charlie parody where she's not even trying to be subtle, she's just... there, on a home shopping channel, selling god knows what with her tits basically doing the presentation for her. The blonde bombshell aesthetic is dialed up to eleven, like a cheap wig on a public access fever dream, and I am living for every pixel of it.

The setup is so stupid it wraps back around to genius. Pimp Master Shaft, because of course he's back, is the producer or something, and the whole "hole shopping channel" pun is so aggressively on the nose I snorted my drink. There's a moment where Charlie is demonstrating a product, I think it was a dildo shaped like a vegetable, and the sheer deadpan look on her face while the text boxes are just screaming obscenities at you. It's not a game, it's a vibe. A very specific, sticky, unpolished vibe. The blowjob scenes are animated with the kind of janky enthusiasm that makes you think the creator just discovered the tween function and went absolutely feral with it. I wish the audio was more than just a single looped moan that sounds like a cat stuck in a washing machine, but that's never getting fixed and we all know it.

Honestly, the visual artistry is what gets me. It's not good, not in a technical sense. But the way the big tits are rendered with this almost plastic sheen, defying all known laws of physics and good taste, it's pure camp. It's like a drag queen designed the character models after a three day bender watching QVC and hentai simultaneously. The humor lands because it's so committed to being this dumb. There's a tangent here about how shopping channels are already a form of softcore porn for bored housewives, but this game just rips the veneer off and slaps a neon sign on it. My mock award? "Best Use of a Television Studio Set That Is Clearly Just Three Recolored Backgrounds." It's trash, I adore it, and I never want to play it again.