The escort thing, right? You play this dude who needs a date for some work party and somehow ends up with this ridiculously stacked woman. Her tits are like, comically huge. Like someone inflated beach balls under her shirt. The whole visual novel setup is pretty standard, click click click, read the dialogue, pick an option sometimes. But the art, man. The CG scenes are the whole point, let's be real. There's this one scene in a hotel room where she's on top and the physics are just... I don't know what I expected. It's hot but also I laughed. Is that the goal? Probably not.

The humor is weirdly the best part. The main character is such a dumbass, the way he stumbles through conversations. Reminds me of that time I tried to use Google Translate to flirt on a dating app. Disaster. The relationship building is there I guess, you get to know her tragic backstory or whatever between the fucking. But who cares, right? The dialogue choices sometimes feel like they matter but then you end up in the same bed anyway. I wish there was a route where you just, I don't know, go bowling instead. Won't happen.

My biggest gripe, and I'm still mad about this, is the sound. There's this one looping track during the "intimate" moments that sounds exactly like my old phone's alarm. Killed the mood instantly. Had to play on mute. The big boobs tag is not lying though, it's almost a parody of itself. If you're into that specific, absurdly proportioned hentai style, you'll probably finish it in one sitting. The escort premise is just a flimsy excuse for the sex scenes, let's not pretend otherwise. The replay value? Zero. Unless you want to see the other two endings which are basically the same but with different lighting. I don't know, maybe I'm just dead inside. The CG gallery is unlocked from the start which is a choice. A lazy one. Saves me the trouble I guess.

The whole thing feels like someone animated a particularly vivid fantasy they had after watching too much late night HBO and then forgot to add a menu screen. Jordan 500, right. She's a high end escort, blonde, the kind of chest that defies both physics and back pain, and she's out with her mate Brooke to snag a rich guy. Standard setup. The art is that specific Lesson of Passion style where everyone looks slightly melted, like wax figures left in a warm car, but somehow it loops back around to being weirdly compelling. You click, things happen, clothes come off. It's a sex tape in game form, basically.

The competition angle is where it gets properly unhinged. You'd think it's about outsmarting a rival or something, but no, it's more like a chaotic race to see who can debase themselves faster for a guy who looks like a thumb with a watch. There's a moment where Jordan just... decides to escalate things on the dance floor, and the animation is so janky it looks like her spine is trying to escape her body. I couldn't stop clicking. It's the digital equivalent of a car crash where the cars are having sex. The escort theme is just a thin excuse for a series of increasingly public acts, and the "Jordan 500" part? Still no clue. Maybe it's her hourly rate. Maybe it's the number of polygons in her left breast.

Brooke is there too, I guess, mostly to provide a contrast or maybe just to fill the second slot in a scene that feels like it was storyboarded on a napkin. The dialogue is pure poetry written by a non native speaker who learned English exclusively from porn titles. "You are make my big rich now." It's beautiful. The whole thing runs in a browser, so you can just... have it there, a window into a world where foreplay is a transaction and the climax is a loading screen. It's not good, but it's also not boring, which is more than I can say for a lot of polished garbage. The sex tape tag is accurate, it's just a shame the tape looks like it was left in the sun.

Richard thinks he's slick. Hires an escort because his wife Michelle won't stop complaining about her "role" in the marriage. Classic Lesson of Passion setup, right? The kind where you already know the twist before the second click. But here's the thing. The escort shows up and it's literally his wife. And instead of a screaming match or divorce papers, they both just... go with it. Start this weird roleplay where she pretends to be a stranger and he pretends he's not married to the woman slowly taking her clothes off.

The strip mechanics are basic as hell. Click, click, click. Clothing disappears piece by piece while dialogue boxes try to convince you this is some deep exploration of marital boredom. It's not. It's a brunette in lingerie looking at you with that specific Lesson of Passion expression, the one where the eyes are slightly too wide and the mouth is doing something that's supposed to be seductive but lands somewhere between confused and mildly concerned. I spent way too long staring at her earring. It clips through her hair in the third scene and once you notice it you can't unsee it.

The cheating angle is technically there but also not? They're married. They both know. The whole thing feels like a couple who got bored and decided LARPing infidelity was cheaper than therapy. There's this moment where Michelle says something about how Richard never looks at her like this anymore and the game just... moves on. Doesn't dwell. Back to the clicking. The escort fantasy is just marriage with extra steps and worse lighting. Somewhere in the middle I started wondering if the real Lesson of Passion was that roleplay can't fix whatever's actually broken here but then another piece of clothing came off and I forgot what I was thinking about.

You are a driver. Working as a driver can be fun. It likewise can be dangerous. And sometimes it can be extremely interesting - on those nights when your clients are top class escort gals! During this night you will satisfy five such clients and indeed, you can make your proceed every one of them: chat with them, try to seduce them and get completely free the services that people are paying huge bucks for!