The whole thing feels like someone’s spank bank got raided by an AI that only trained on DeviantArt commissions from 2016. Lara Croft and Ellie Williams, yeah, those two, are just... there. No apocalypse, no tombs, just a room and a vibe that screams unwashed gym socks. The foot stuff is relentless. Not a side dish, it’s the whole menu. Socks stay on. Always. Something about the texture of the rendered cotton against skin that’s more unsettling than any clicker.

And then it just cuts to hard doggystyle. No transition. Like the director forgot what scene we were on. The male POV is so aggressively blank, just a floating dick with a pulse, which I guess is the point. Domination themes hit weird because Ellie looks more bored than broken, staring off while getting railed. Lara’s got this permanent AI smirk that doesn’t match the rough anal scenes at all. The crossover aspect is wasted. You’d think there’d be some clever power struggle, but nah, it’s just a slave fetish checklist with famous skins d*** over it.

Got distracted thinking about how weird sock textures are in real life. That slightly crunchy feeling when they’ve been worn too long. This game captures that. For better or worse. The sexual harassment tag isn’t a warning, it’s the entire plot structure. Every click is just another demand. The hardcore scenes are explicit, sure, but the ai cg makes everything look like oiled plastic. Sometimes the footjob angles are so specific you wonder if the dev has a chiropody fetish. The vaginal sex bits feel almost clinical compared to the obsessive focus on toes. It’s a parody of something, probably desire itself, but I forgot what I was talking about. The rough sex isn’t hot, it’s just... mechanical. Like watching action figures get mashed together.

Ok so the whole thing is called Sexverse and it’s basically someone’s mod folder exploded into a browser game. You get this hub area and pick a door, each one is a different parody. The Mass Effect one with Subject Zero, I don’t know why but her tattoos in the 3dcg look kinda smeared, like someone rubbed a save file with a greasy thumb. But the scene where she grabs the back of your head during the blowjob, that specific aggressive push, they got that right. I spent way too long just rotating the camera during the Liara Tsoni scene because the blue skin texture had this weird shiny seam on her hip that kept catching the light wrong and it bugged me so much I forgot to actually enjoy the french kissing build up.

Then you click over to the Game of Thrones parody and suddenly it’s a voyeur thing with Cersei and Margaery Tyrell. The animation loops are stiff as hell, like action figures being mashed together. But the dialogue, I’m not gonna lie, the bad grammar in the text boxes actually makes it sound more like a real Cersei rant. She says something utterly vile about a stool and I laughed. The foot fetish content is there too, specific and weirdly detailed for a game where Aloy’s hair from Horizon Zero Dawn clips straight through her own bow in the next room. The NTR tag pops up in the Walking Dead section with Clementine and it’s so out of left field I had to close the tab and stare at my desktop for a bit. Not because it was hot, but because the male protagonist model they used looked like a melted Ken doll.

The Silent Hill parody with Heather Mason and the anilingus scene is where the whole project’s ambition just collapses into a weird fog. The fog effect from the original game is literally a flat grey jpeg sliding across the screen. I couldn’t stop focusing on it. The Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite scene has a handjob that syncs up surprisingly well with the little thimble on her finger. That tiny detail was perfect. Then you get Lae’zel from Baldur’s Gate 3 doing anal and the model’s legs bend backwards at a nightmare angle. It’s a complete gamble. You click for Lady Dimitrescu’s big vampire mommy energy and get distracted by a shadow glitch that makes her look like she has a beard. The sound design is just royalty free squishing noises. I think I heard the same wet slap in the Cyberpunk 2077 Judy Alvarez scene and the Lara Croft tomb one. It’s a mess. A glorious, horny, unpolished mess.

Watching Ellie crouch behind a rusted car, all sharp angles and that stupidly iconic backpack, I felt something weird. Not dread, not the usual post apocalyptic tension. More like... my brain doing that record scratch noise. Because this isn't the Ellie from the HBO show or the remaster. This is a version where the cordyceps apparently mutated into a horny virus and nobody told me. The art is deliberately rough, like someone sketched it on a napkin during a boring meeting, and honestly? It kind of works for the whole "everything is broken" vibe.

The dialogue choices pop up with the subtlety of a brick through a window. One minute you're scavenging for supplies, the next you're picking between "share a blanket for warmth" and something that would make Joel choke on his coffee. The game doesn't even pretend to be subtle about it. I clicked a totally innocent option about checking for injuries and suddenly there's a close up of Ellie's skinny frame with her shirt riding up, and the text just goes full send into describing things in a way that would get you banned from Twitch. The parody aspect is so on the nose it's practically inside the nostril. Remember that scene in the original with the giraffes? Yeah, this game has a version of that. Let's just say the wildlife is... different.

There's a crafting system that makes zero sense. I collected three rags and a bottle of something and the game told me I could now make a "distraction device." What does it distract? Who knows. The visual novel format means you're mostly clicking and reading, but every few scenes there's a choice that branches into something explicit. The teen tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting here, and the whole thing feels like it was coded in a basement by someone who really, really liked The Last of Us but wished it had way more questionable content. The skinny character model for Ellie is accurate to the source material I guess, but something about the way the artist draws collarbones is living rent free in my head now. Not in a good way. Or maybe in a good way? I need a shower.

Ellie in this one feels like that girl in your class who pretends she’s stressed about exams, highlighters all over the desk, browser full of Wikipedia tabs, but secretly she’s just waiting for her guy to show up and ruin all her good intentions. The game doesn’t even try to pretend otherwise. It starts like a normal “I should be studying” moment and then he walks in, and from there it’s just horny brain taking full control. I was half expecting some build up with choices and textbooks and “should I really skip revision,” but nah, he’s got one thing in mind, and her body language says yeah, same. Her shoulders drop when she hears him, like she’s annoyed at herself for being happy, and then she kind of fidgets in place, like she already feels him before he even touches her. As someone who spends way too much time reading micro movements and small tells in videos on VLC and obsessively pausing, this hit me right away: she’s shy and absolutely not shy at the same time.

What I liked most is how her animations talk more than her mouth. When he comes up behind her at the desk, you see that little hesitation, like she wants to keep the pencil in her hand as excuse, but her hips already tilt back, angled just enough like she’s done this “just a quick break” thing before. When she bends over the desk, her feet adjust on the floor, she goes on her toes for a second, then settles, like she’s bracing for how big he is. It’s not overly smooth, a bit rough sometimes, like frames skip the perfect in‑between, but that actually makes it feel more raw, less porn studio and more horny couple that forgot the world exists. Her back arch is very telling: the more he pushes in, the deeper the curve gets, then you see little tremors in her thighs that say she’s not just “roleplaying student,” she’s fucking gone. At one point she tries to look back at him over her shoulder and her lips part, not into some big exaggerated O, but this small pained smile like “fuck, I’m supposed to care about exams.” And yeah, there’s that huge cock they clearly want you to focus on, and you will, because it looks almost too big for her, you see that stretch, but the nice part is how her body fights between tension and need. The desk isn’t just prop, you see it shake, her hands spread on the surface, fingers curl, then flatten again like she’s grounding herself to not just totally lose it. It’s short, like a quickie before class, and kind of stupid in a good way: textbooks, serious subject, young girl trying to be responsible, then she willingly lets all that go and takes him all the way inside like that was her real homework the whole time. I would complain that it ends just when her rhythm starts matching his and her ass starts pushing back to meet the thrusts, but I’m still thinking about that first little flinch when his tip finally slides in and her knees almost give out. That one second tells more about her than any dialogue box could.