Fuck House. Right there in the title, no pretensions. I load it up and it's just... rooms. Thirteen of them, lined up like a sleazy advent calendar. Click a door, get a scene. That's the whole pitch. My kind of efficiency, honestly, because I'm not here for dialogue trees or whatever the fuck a "branching narrative" is. I'm here to unlock every single clickable hotspot like the degenerate completionist I am.

First room is a blonde doing a striptease. Basic. But then you notice the little pulsing circles. Click her tits, she plays with them. Click between her legs, she spreads. This pattern repeats everywhere and it's the real game. The brunette with the fucking machine in room 4? You can click the machine's speed dial, click her mouth, click to change the camera to this weird low angle that makes no anatomical sense but I appreciate the commitment. Got stuck on that scene for a bit because the machine's rhythm and the extra view toggles didn't sync up right and it bugged me, this tiny timing issue nobody else will care about but it's there. Won't be fixed.

Then it escalates. Threesome in the shower room. Interracial scene with two guys and one girl that's surprisingly intense. The orgy room is a goddamn mess of limbs and I spent way too long finding all the click points because one was hidden behind a guy's shoulder blade. Who puts a cumshot trigger behind a shoulder blade? The UI gets wonky when too many actors are on screen, overlapping hitboxes. Classic ren'py spaghetti, or whatever engine this is. Does it matter? Not when you're trying to 100% the gallery like it's a speedrun category. The blonde reappears in the group scene, by the way, a little continuity nod I didn't expect from something called Fuck House.

The art is deliberately rough, like someone drew it with their non-dominant hand but knew exactly what they were doing. The moans loop badly. The transitions are nonexistent. Perfect. It's not trying to be pretty. It's trying to be a clickable smorgasbord of every porn scenario you've seen on the front page of a tube site at, like, some ungodly hour. And you know what? I wish there was a counter for each scene's hidden spots. Something to track. A little "7/8 found" taunting me. Would've added replay value. But no. Just my own obsessive memory. The striptease room has four interactions, for the record. Or was it five? I need to go check again.