Fucking hilarious when a game about ancient prophecy and world ending stakes opens with you scrubbing floors and getting slapped around. Exiles doesn't care about your chosen one bullshit, not at first. You're a gutter rat from Dumat al-Julfar, some sandy shithole straight out of Arabian Nights, and your patron treats you like furniture. Then suddenly you're sailing across oceans, freezing your nuts off in viking country, and oh yeah, there's a femboy pirate who definitely wants to show you his mast. That optional gay content toggle is working overtime.

The pov handjob scene with the muscle girl in the tavern. Christ. She's got arms like tree trunks and she's looking at you like you're dessert, not because you're special, just because you're there and she's bored. One hand working you while she's still holding her ale with the other, not spilling a drop, and her grip could probably crack walnuts. Then you're back to epic quest mode, fighting draugr or whatever, like that didn't just happen. The tonal whiplash should be annoying but somehow it's the whole appeal.

Graphic violence lives right next door to the foot fetish stuff which is... a choice. You'll decapitate a bandit and then someone's pretty toes are in your face during a dialogue scene. The 3dcg renders have that unpolished jank where sometimes faces look like melted wax and other times, usually during the group sex sequences surprisingly, everything clicks and it's genuinely hot. Medieval setting means everyone's dirty and that kinda works for the vibes. The trap character surprised me, not my thing usually, but the writing for that encounter had actual humor instead of just "surprise it's a dick" like most games. Still not sure how I feel about the middle eastern fantasy aesthetic crashing into norse mythology, feels like two different games slapped together, but whatever.