The balls click together with that perfect sound, you know the one, and I'm already doing the math wrong in my head. White ball 7 into pocket 5, that's 12 points. My brain keeps trying to make it multiplication for some reason, which would be way more interesting but also completely broken. The game doesn't care about my arithmetic struggles though, it just wants me to line up shots while this model in a bikini watches from the side of the pool table like she's judging my angle work.

Which she probably is, honestly. My first three shots went straight into the felt like I'd never held a cue before. The physics are weirdly forgiving though, like the balls have their own ideas about where they want to go. Sometimes you'll aim for pocket 3 and the thing just decides nah, pocket 6 looks better today. Not complaining exactly, because winning is how you get the good stuff, and losing means you drop down a level which feels unnecessarily harsh for what's supposed to be a chill strip billiards game.

The reward scenes are what you'd expect, two women getting increasingly undressed between rounds, the whole thing shot by someone who definitely watched too much softcore in the 90s. There's this one moment where the camera lingers on the pool cue in a way that's trying very hard to be symbolic and I respect the commitment to the bit even if it made me snort. The audio is just ambient pool hall sounds and some generic music that I muted after about five minutes because I needed to concentrate on not sending the cue ball into the void again. You'd think a game about adding numbers would be relaxing but here we are, stress sweating over basic addition while waiting for the next striptease segment to unlock.