The whole thing feels like a cheap Valentine’s card you find behind the radiator in July, but somehow it still makes you laugh. You get a mouse cursor that is basically a bow, and you click on people or animals walking left to right. Cupid arrow goes in, they get all horny, clothes pop off, and then they start humping the nearest thing. A blonde woman, a jogger, a pigeon, a dog. Yes, a dog. The game does not care. It is stupid and proud of it.

The pacing is like a microwave dinner. First minute is cold in the middle, then suddenly everything is hot and messy. You miss a shot because the target moves, and instead you hit a mailbox, which does nothing. That is the whole strategy. Click fast, hope for the best. The sound effects are like someone slapping a wet napkin against a wall. I wish there was a way to slow down the crowd, but there is not. You just have to accept the chaos.

Top 3 moments you will want to screenshot. Number one, the old man with the cane getting nailed right in the ass and then grinning like he won the lottery. Number two, two squirrels going at it on a park bench while a nun watches. Number three, the blonde chick getting double teamed by a fire hydrant and a hot dog vendor. I am not joking. The game is called something like Cupid’s Arrow, but honestly it should be called “Oops, Everyone is Fucking.” The art is rough, like a flash game from 2007 that someone drew with their left hand. But the humor lands because it does not try to be sexy. It tries to be dumb. And dumb works.