Right. Shinobi Girl. The name makes it sound like a bootleg you’d find on a forgotten corner of the internet, and honestly that vibe isn’t wrong. You play as this kunoichi, a brunette in a very impractical outfit, running automatically from left to right. Monsters come at her. Your job is to click to make her slash them before they grab her. Simple.

But they will grab her. That’s the whole point, isn’t it. I spent an embarrassing amount of time just watching the first slime monster lunge, completely missing my click because the hitbox feels a little drunk. When it catches her, it pins her down and the scene shifts to a close up of a messy, uncaring facial abuse. And the fluid, it doesn't disappear. She gets up and keeps running with the evidence dripping from her chin and plastered in her hair. That detail, the sticky persistence of it, is more thoughtfully implemented than the actual combat. Later a big green brute with a ridiculously big cock corners her for a titfuck, and if the tentacle monster gets her it’s a rough creampie that she then literally carries between her legs for the rest of the level. It's a messy trail of bad decisions.

The animation itself is a strange, jerky side scroller. There's a paizuri scene with a monster hunter looking guy that felt almost out of place, like he wandered in from a different game. The masturbate animations when you fail completely are just looping gifs, but they have a raw, unpolished quality. It’s less about skill and more about curiosity. You let her get caught just to see what the next monster does. My brain checked out of the "game" part and just became a director of a very specific, repetitive porno. The jump button might as well not exist half the time. I still don't understand what triggers the special attack. It just happens sometimes. Whatever.