The physics in this thing are a joke, and I mean that as a compliment. Balls don't roll, they detonate. You get a limited number of taps to sink everything, and each hit sends the whole table into a slow motion shrapnel ballet. I spent way too long on level four just watching the white ball ricochet off three cushions before nudging the eight into a corner pocket. Then the model on the side does that little shimmy, and I forgot what I was aiming for.

It's a strip billiard arcade thing with real model photos, not some polished 3D render. The graininess actually helps. Feels like flipping through a magazine you shouldn't have found. The striptease is tied to clearing the table, but the real tease is the countdown. You have, what, five shots? Six? I kept wasting them on trick angles that had no business working. One time I hit the cue ball so hard it jumped the rail and still counted as a pocket. Don't ask me how.

The music is this looping lounge beat that gets under your skin after a while. Not in a bad way. It's the kind of track that plays in a place with velvet ropes and no windows. I wish there was a mute button, but also I don't. The mobile layout is fine, though my thumb kept covering the power slider. Minor thing. The real problem is the last model. She never fully undresses. Or maybe she does and I just ran out of hits. I'll never know.