Linda's skirt is too tight. That's the first thing I notice, not the subway tiles or whatever. The game loads and there she is, this anime style secretary with glasses that keep catching the light wrong, and her pencil skirt is painted on. You're supposed to be some random guy on the train, and she's just... there. The whole setup feels like a cheap porno intro, which I guess it is.

The pickup line mechanic is busted. You get three options, and two of them are so bad they're almost funny. "Nice weather we're having" while she's clearly adjusting her stockings. Come on. I picked the one about her looking stressed from work, and suddenly she's telling me about how secretaries get promotions. The dialogue jumps like a scratched CD. One second we're on the train, next she's bent over a desk that wasn't there before. The animation loops are rough, her back arches the same way three times, and there's this weird moment where her mouth keeps moving but the voice clip already ended. I couldn't stop laughing.

The sex scenes unlock based on these dialogue choices, but it's not like there's strategy. You just click whatever sounds dirtiest and the game rewards you. Linda's voice acting has this flat quality, like she's reading a grocery list while getting railed. The subway setting disappears completely after the first scene, which bothered me more than it should. Where did the train go? We were on public transit and now it's an office. The game doesn't care. There's a moment where her glasses fog up and I thought that was a nice touch, but then the animation reset and they were clear again. The whole thing feels like someone made it in a weekend and called it done. The cumshot scene at the end has this weird delay, like the game forgot what it was doing. I sat there staring at her frozen face for a solid ten seconds before anything happened.