I don't know who decided that billiards needed a striptease mechanic but honestly, I'm not complaining. Non Stop Billiard has this weird thing where the white balls keep moving, like they've had too much coffee, and you're supposed to hit them so they turn yellow and then pocket them. Only yellow ones count. The white ones are just... decoration? Obstacles? I spent way too long trying to sink a white ball before I realized nothing was happening. The tutorial, if you can call it that, doesn't really explain this. It just throws you in and hopes you figure it out.

The real models are what you're here for though. A brunette and a blonde, both looking like they wandered off a late night cable channel from 2003. The brunette has this expression that's somewhere between bored and mildly curious, which I find weirdly compelling. The animation when they strip is... well, it's there. It's not smooth exactly, more like someone's moving paper dolls, but the poses are clear enough. I wish the blonde's hair physics weren't so stiff, it moves like a solid helmet when she bends over the table. That's never getting fixed, obviously.

There's this moment when you win a round and the camera just lingers on the brunette's hands as she unbuttons her top. The game doesn't rush it, which I appreciate. Then the opponent AI will suddenly become a pool shark from hell and send you back a level, and you're watching clothes reappear like some kind of reverse magic trick. The billiard physics themselves are floaty, like the balls have a slight hovercraft quality. Sometimes a ball will just stop dead when it should be rolling, and I've definitely seen the cue ball phase through a yellow ball once. The strip show is the only reward, and it's broken into these tiny increments so you're grinding through matches just to see a bra strap slip down. Is it worth it? I kept playing, so I guess that's my answer.