The whole thing feels like someone found a box of old VHS tapes in a humid Florida basement and just... uploaded them. The grain, the colors that bleed into each other like a melted popsicle. I spent way too long just staring at the background of one scene, this beachfront with palm trees that don't move right. They sort of vibrate. It's hypnotic.

Bony and Tubbs, right. The names are so on the nose I can't even be mad. The sex is rough, the kind where you hear skin slapping and think okay, that's gonna leave a mark. Big tits everywhere, bouncing with that weird physics that's not realistic but somehow more honest than the polished stuff you see on Nutaku. There's this one scene with a bikini that's basically just three strings and a prayer, and the way it comes off... chef's kiss. But then the audio loops and you hear the same moan three times in a row and it pulls you right out. Like getting a phone call during the good part.

Cheech and Chong show up as judges. I don't know why. They just stand there, looking like they wandered in from a completely different game, and honestly that's the energy I'm here for. The masturbation scenes have this desperate quality, like everyone involved is just trying to get through a heat wave. Miami Vice was a great show, the description says, and yeah, I guess it was, but this is more like someone's fever dream about it after eating bad ceviche.