So the whole thing starts with this guy, right. Married, boring job, house that probably smells like dryer sheets. He's got a side piece because of course he does. Then bam, some girl shows up with a birth certificate and suddenly his dick is a paternity test. The game doesn't waste time pretending this is deep. It's a mobile clicker with 3dcg models that look like they were rendered on a phone from 2019. The animations are stiff but in a way that loops perfectly, like a gif you'd find on a forum with 47 replies all saying "source?"

The virgin tag is interesting because the girl, the one with the certificate, she's got that whole nervous energy. You can practically see the polygons sweat. There's a scene where she's on her knees and the camera keeps cutting to her eyes like it's a soap opera. I spent way too long on the handjob minigame because the hitbox for the thumb is like three pixels off. Not that I'm complaining. It's the kind of jank that makes you feel like you're getting away with something.

Cheating is the whole engine here. Wife's at work, you're in the living room, and the girl's shirt is already off. Exhibitionism pops up in a car scene that made me genuinely look over my shoulder even though I was alone. The male protagonist has the personality of a damp sponge but honestly that's fine. You're not here for his dialogue. You're here to see if the birth certificate gets crumpled up and used as a coaster. It doesn't. But the oral scene after that almost makes up for it.

I wish the masturbation scenes weren't locked behind a weird progression wall. Like I get it, build tension, but I'm on a phone at 2pm, not writing a thesis. Whatever. The game knows what it is. It's a sticky screen and a guilty conscience.