The balls clack together with that perfect crisp sound and some blonde is already down to just her panties on the screen behind the table. Priorities, right? This game mashes up pool and cards in a way that makes zero sense if you think about it for more than three seconds, but the lesbian video playing in the background keeps your brain from doing exactly that.

The mechanic is you gotta sink balls by matching the type but with a higher value card. I spent way too long trying to figure out if the 8 ball was special or something. It's not. The real model in the video doesn't seem to care about my strategic genius either, she's busy with her scene partner and honestly that's the whole point. The striptease element progresses as you clear the table, which is basic psychology but it works. I wish the card values were bigger on my phone screen though. Squinting at tiny numbers while someone's getting felt up in 480p is a specific kind of frustration.

The blonde actress has this moment where she looks directly at the camera and I missed an easy shot because of it. Not complaining. The video quality is what you'd expect from something running in a browser, a bit compressed, but the pool physics are surprisingly not garbage. Balls go where you aim them mostly. Sometimes the collision detection gets weird near the pockets but that's probably just me being bad at geometry. The lesbian content is explicit enough that I had to angle my monitor away from the hallway. You know how it is. The card system adds just enough gameplay that you can pretend you're not just here for the obvious reason, even though we both know you are.