Right, so, this game is called “I’ll break into the office of DLsite’s distribution system, and have my way with all their mascot characters” and it's basically what the tin says. A weird little flash of keyboard mashing and pixelated hentai logic that makes no sense but I couldn’t stop clicking anyway. The premise is so aggressively internet, you just barge into this digital office space, ignore all normal social rules, and start fucking the mascots while weird stick figure employees try to knock you back like you’re some kind of horny ping pong ball.

Controls are keyboard only and about as janky as you’d expect from something that feels coded in a fever dream. You just push through, the combat is mostly just... colliding? And then the sex scenes happen. Hard. Like full on rough pounding with toys appearing out of nowhere because why not? The art is rough, deliberately scrappy, but the characters themselves got that classic DLsite vibe, that slightly broken English, that “this was probably a labor of love” energy. Honestly my favorite part was when I accidentally triggered a scene with a toy I didn’t even know was equipped and just stared at the screen for a second.

Oh wait, I forgot to mention the actual combat. The employees. Yeah they try to stop you and it’s annoying but also part of the charm? Like sir, I’m trying to defile your corporate mascot, please step aside. The whole thing is just a raw, unpolished smash ’n’ grab where you bounce between fucking and fighting and the line between them is basically nonexistent.