The redhead. Oh honey, the redhead. She’s got this whole superhero thing going on, some kind of fire power or whatever, I wasn’t really paying attention to the lore because her costume is basically painted on and the doggystyle scene with her on the rooftop? Chef’s kiss. The game calls itself a satirical adventure and I guess that’s true if your idea of satire is a naive twink getting cosmic powers and immediately using them to trip over his own dick in every city on the map. The CG hentai art is deliberately janky, like someone drew it on a cracked iPad in Procreate while drunk, and I mean that as a compliment. Sort of. The proportions go wild sometimes, a tit will just... escape the frame, and you have to respect that commitment to chaos.

The choices are what got me though. You pick his direction, right? And one path had me trying to be a noble hero, saving people, the whole cape fantasy. Next thing I know I’m in a back alley with a villain who’s giving a monologue about economic disparity while my character is bent over a dumpster. The tonal whiplash is the whole meal. There’s no balance, no warning. You click a dialogue option that sounds flirty and suddenly it’s a full-on explicit sequence with sound effects that I’m pretty sure were recorded on a Nokia. The humor is so stupid, like genuinely dumb, and then a sex scene will start and the art will actually get... weirdly detailed? For like three frames. Then it’s back to looking like a Newgrounds flash animation from 2005. I screamed at my screen when a text box popped up mid-thrust to make a pun about his “super stamina.” I wanted to throw my phone but I was on my laptop, using Chrome, and the tab was just... there. Judging me.

The adventure part is mostly just clicking around a map that looks like it was made in MS Paint. You go to a volcano, a city, a secret base. Every location is just a backdrop for the next bit of horny nonsense. The redhead shows up again later, I think? Or maybe it was a different redhead. They all blur together after a while. The game forgets its own plot halfway through and honestly, so did I. Something about self-discovery. The real discovery was that the back button on my mouse is broken from clicking too fast through dialogue about power crystals.