The whole thing's a mess. A beautiful, horny, infuriating mess and I can't stop thinking about the Hera path lockout. You know the one. Where if you pick the wrong dialogue on the Ghost during the second supply run, the entire twi'lek pilot branch just... evaporates. No warning. No "are you sure?" Just gone. I had to scrub my save three times. Three. Because I wanted that full gallery completion, every single CG hentai scene, and the game doesn't give a fuck about your completionist OCD. The paragon/renegade meter is a lie anyway, it's really just a "do you get to fuck the blue alien or not" slider.

Liara's scene after the mind meld though. Holy shit. The way they rendered her freckles, the slight bioluminescent flush spreading down her neck while she's trying to maintain that scientific detachment, voice cracking just a little. It's not polished at all, the animation loops are janky and there's a moment where her hand clips right through the player model's chest, but somehow that makes it hotter. Like finding a really good amateur video on spankbang where the lighting's terrible but the chemistry is undeniable. The writing for her is straight up better than the actual Mass Effect 3 romance, I said it. Fight me in the comments.

Then you get to the Jedi temple ruins and the game suddenly remembers it's supposed to be a parody and throws a fucking stealth section at you. A stealth section. In a visual novel. With instant fail states that boot you back to the title screen because autosave is for cowards apparently. I was so mad I nearly closed the tab. But I didn't. Because I knew there was a Hera scene behind it and I'm nothing if not a degenerate with a spreadsheet tracking my unlocks. The alien design inconsistency bugs me more than it should. Sometimes they look like the source material, sometimes it's just a recolored human with head tentacles. Pick a lane. The pilot's internal monologue about wanting freedom while actively trying to stick his dick in every sentient species he meets is the funniest accidental commentary on rebellion I've ever read. I wish the game let you fail more gracefully instead of just dead-ending, but we both know that won't get patched.