You know what's wild? The captain never moves. Like, the ship is supposedly going places, doing space courier things, but the guy just stands there while the universe sorts itself out. I clicked once, maybe twice, then realized my hand was completely unnecessary. The game just... goes. Planets drift past, alerts pop up, something about cargo that I never quite understood, and then suddenly there's a naked blue alien with breasts that defy both physics and probably several interstellar treaties.

The sex scenes are why anyone's here, obviously. They're high quality, I'll give it that. The animation is smooth in a way the rest of the game isn't, with these long, looping sequences that don't require you to do anything except sit there and feel vaguely like a pervert with too much free time. One moment you're watching a spaceship drift through pixelated stars, the next there's a tentacle situation with a crew member I didn't even know existed. No buildup. No dialogue choices. Just pure, unfiltered hentai logic where clothing evaporates and anatomy stretches to accommodate whatever the artist was feeling that day.

I wish there was some actual interaction. Even a fake one. A button that says "engage thrusters" but really just triggers the next scene. Something to fool my brain into thinking I'm participating instead of just... spectating. But no. The game has exactly one button and it's the play button, and after that you're just along for the ride. The captain's face never changes expression. He's seen things. Or maybe he hasn't seen anything because he doesn't have eyes that move. I forgot what I was saying. The purple haired girl with the tail shows up eventually and that scene is honestly worth leaving the tab open while you do laundry or whatever. The sound design is basically nonexistent but that's probably a mercy given the alternative.