The whole thing feels like someone left a Flash file from 2006 in a dusty corner of the internet and forgot to polish it. Holli Would, that blonde from the Cool World knockoff universe, just sits there with this dead eyed stare while you poke at sliders. The customization is surprisingly deep for what's basically a one position pony show. You can tweak her hair color, tan lines, even the angle of the camera so you're staring up at her from below like some kind of pervert gopher. But none of it changes the fact that she's just... bouncing. Mechanically. Like a screensaver with a pleasure bar.

I spent way too long messing with the camera presets. There's one that zooms right into the action, which is fine I guess, but the textures get all smeary like a Vaseline smeared lens. The sound design, if you can call it that, is just a loop of wet slapping noises that desyncs after about thirty seconds. Porn Bastards really leaned into the "bastards" part here. The cum inside/outside toggle is the only real decision you make, and even that feels anticlimactic because the animation doesn't change. She just keeps riding, completely unfazed, like you just told her the weather forecast.

What's weird is how the jankiness almost becomes the point. The unpolished edges, the way her hair clips through her shoulder, the bizarre shadow under her left tit that moves independently. It's like watching a sex ed video made by aliens who only had a partial description of human anatomy. The pleasure meter fills up way too fast unless you deliberately switch to the slowest rhythm setting, which turns the whole thing into some kind of tantric endurance test. I found myself staring at the background, this flat purple void that's supposed to be a room maybe, wondering if the developer just gave up halfway through. The customization menu has more love put into it than the actual sex, which says something. Probably not something good.